Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
