Me too!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just pee around me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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