So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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