There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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