Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize