It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i dont even know how to be here
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
