we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How external is "for external use only"?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
