I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
