Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize