Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
