The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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