I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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