3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
