Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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