Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
