operation harelip BJ is a go
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
