Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
