So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
