He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
