I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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