i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
