we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
