he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
40s are totally the cure
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
