people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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