There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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