ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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