if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize