can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
