And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
