i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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