I bet he comes in French.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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