it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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