pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
