Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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