i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
