Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't turn off my feet"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
