just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
