my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
