no, he came in my armpit
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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