wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize