he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
