I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
