Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just threw up on my dentist
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
