i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
