You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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