Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
