woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
