My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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