The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
