She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
