i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
