she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize