hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
its liver damage thursday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
