There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
