does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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