Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
