i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
