ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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