I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
