her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
