great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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