we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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