Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize