420 ftw
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
